I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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