is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
