We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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