I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
