she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
