So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize