some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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