So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
