Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
