I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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