He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
