I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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