And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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