I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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