this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
