What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
