you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
