she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
