In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
