And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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