I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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