Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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