My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
