She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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