Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
