i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
