john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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