If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
