I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
