...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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