so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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