Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
