The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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