worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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