real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
