just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
