I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
40s are totally the cure
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
