Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
