Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
