dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
