I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
