these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
