If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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