the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
