You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
