I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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