Nicole vs. Life
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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