you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
