Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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