did you get engaged???
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
